Ask not what your country can do for you ...

These now immortalized words were spoken by President Kennedy during his famous inaugural speech. Yes, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. However, what if, you are not even given a fair chance to begin with by your own country? Many Malaysians face this dilemma. They work, toil and give their best - constantly planning on how they can best contribute to their beloved country. But in the end, they were told that they were not good enough, they were passed on for opportunities and made to feel like second class citizens.

Am I wrong to say so? When Malaysia cried out loud and reached out to her sons overseas to come back and serve, many highly qualified Malaysians went back and did just that. I, personally, know of a few who threw down everything and heeded the call. But what happened? They were only disappointed back home and regretted their decisions later. Bureaucracy, lack of meritocracy and transparency keep Malaysia being uncompetitive by any international standard. So, when Malaysia cries again, tell me ... yes, you tell me ... who will go back?

If you were to ask me what have my country done for me, I don't really know how to answer. When I was young, getting into a Malaysian boarding school on a government sponsorship was almost impossible for me as a low income, chinese boy with no connections. I took up the ASEAN scholarship and went to Singapore to do my high school. After I completed my A Levels, I applied to numerous scholarships, hoping to get one to venture overseas. However, I was told that I wasn't good enough because I didn't do my SPM and STPM. That was 1998, at the height of the Asian Financial Crisis. Persevering on, I took up a huge loan, packed my bags and headed to Carnegie Mellon. 3 tough winters at Pittsburgh taught me numerous lifelong lessons. I graduated in 2001 and stayed in the US to work. The reason being that I needed to work and repay my debt.

Now, fast forward 6 years. I have finally paid off my dues with a little savings left. At 29, I told myself that I can finally pursue what I want to do in life ... ask what I can do for my country. I quit my job in consulting and enroll at Harvard to do public admin. Many, yes, many people ask me why am I moving in a direction which many else try to get out - it is bureaucratic, political and messy. My answer remains the same. It is the passion to serve, the sense of belonging and pride to your nation.

Before starting my program at Harvard, I have been worrying again on how to pay for my 2-year program. It seems like dejavu. I looked at a few scholarships back in Malaysia, one of them being the new Yang DiPertuan Agong scholarship, which calls upon all Malaysians who have gotten entry into top universities to apply. I did just that, hoping my luck is better this time. However, it was the same story all over again. I didn't even get a chance to present my case in an interview and I didn't even know why my application was unsuccessful.

Malaysia always talks about how she wants to nurture her sons. There I was, standing over there, knocking at her door and she didn't even respond.
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/11/1/nation/19342620&sec=nation

Reading the news article, I asked myself, am I not good enough?
So, ask me again what I can do for my country ...